The Gift of Presence: Seven Ways to Stay Grounded During the Holidays
The holiday season often brings a mix of contrasting expectations and feelings.
Culturally, we’re encouraged to feel joyful and connected, but in reality, many people notice that this time of year brings stress, grief, loneliness, or burnout. If this combination of happy and hard feelings resonates with you, it’s completely understandable, and you’re not alone.
I can absolutely relate to this myself. Having experienced grief and loss during the holidays, I used to feel pressure to “make the most” of the season. I often felt like I had to force joy because that’s what I was supposed to feel, or hide away so no one would see my sadness. What I didn’t realize was that forcing it only made me feel more disconnected, even in a room full of people.
So how do we manage all of these moving pieces?
Presence.
Presence means returning your attention to the moment you’re in by compassionately noticing your thoughts, feelings, and body without judgment or pressure to feel differently. When we’re present, we can meet our needs more effectively and access authentic moments of enjoyment instead of forcing anything.
This is one of the most meaningful gifts we can offer ourselves and the people around us.
Why Presence Feels Hard During the Holidays
Presence isn’t always easy, especially during this season. Certain situations or reminders can make it feel nearly impossible to stay connected to yourself, including:
Grief or loss of loved ones or relationships
Loneliness
Past trauma at this time of year
Overstimulation
Alcohol use
Shopping and gift-giving pressure
Multiple social obligations
Returning to your hometown
Seeing family and friends
These experiences and pressures are common, yet rarely spoken about. Instead, we hear how this is “the most wonderful time of the year.” As a result, many people feel expected to stay joyful, grateful, and enthusiastic, no matter what they’re actually carrying.
In response, some people try to “perform” happiness and focus on pleasing others or keeping the peace. Others might feel overwhelmed and shift into fight, flight, or freeze, which looks like them shutting down, zoning out, or avoiding gatherings altogether. In both cases, presence becomes difficult because the focus is on living up to holiday expectations rather than staying connected to what’s true in the moment.
The Importance of Presence During the Holidays
When stress rises, it’s easy to move into autopilot or fall back into old patterns, such as people-pleasing, overcommitting, or disconnecting.
Presence interrupts these cycles. It helps you notice what you’re feeling, identify what you need, and choose responses that support your well-being instead of acting out of pressure or habit.
This allows space for both: when the harder emotions can have space to breathe, it may also be easier to tap into the small, authentic moments of joy that feel genuine and nourishing.
Presence is, at its core, a form of self-support during a busy and emotionally layered season.
7 Ways to Practice Staying Present With Yourself
If presence feels hard, start with the smallest possible step: a breath, a sensation, a boundary, a pause. That counts. And it’s enough.
If you have space to try additional exercises, here are 7 strategies you can try based on your needs (also available as a downloadable PDF):
1. 10-Second Self-Check-In
The holidays move quickly in every way…conversations, schedules, emotions, commitments. A 10-second pause creates just enough space to slow your nervous system down.
Try this: Take one slow inhale, relax your shoulders as you exhale, and gently name one thing you notice in your body (warmth, tension, breath, heartbeat).
Why it helps: Short, intentional pauses interrupt the stress-response cycle and bring your focus back into your body instead of your worries.
2. Sensory Grounding for Busy Environments
Holiday gatherings, stores, and travel can be overstimulating. Sensory grounding helps you anchor yourself when everything around you feels loud or overwhelming.
Try this: Use the 5–4–3–2–1 technique: Notice 5 things you can see, 4 you can feel, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, 1 you can taste (or imagine tasting).
Why it helps: This shifts focus into the present moment and helps reduce spiralling thoughts and sensory overload.
3. Mindful Transitions
We often move from one task to the next without noticing how we’re feeling. Mindful transitions help you reset between moments.
Try this: Before entering a room, leaving the car, or beginning a new activity, pause and take one breath. Ask yourself: “What do I need as I enter this next moment?”
Why it helps: This can help with intentional, rather than reactive, decision making.
4. Presence at the Table
Holiday meals are often rushed or emotionally charged. Mindful eating and drinking offers a calm point in the middle of a busy day.
Try this: Choose one bite to fully slow down for: notice texture, flavour, warmth, or smell. It doesn’t need to be the whole meal. Check in with yourself when consuming alcohol. Be conscious of your intake, and take mindful measures to ensure your safety and wellbeing.
Why it helps: Mindful eating activates the parasympathetic (“rest and digest”) system and promotes grounding through sensory awareness.
5. Boundary-Setting as an Act of Presence
Presence helps you to notice your limits in real time: emotionally, socially, financially, or physically.
Try this: Use an internal check-in: “Am I saying yes because I want to, or because I feel pressured?” Then choose a boundary that supports your well-being, like stepping outside for a breather or saying no to a spending opportunity or alcoholic beverage.
Why it helps: Boundaries keep you connected to your values rather than obligations.
6. Micro-Connection Moments
Presence can strengthen the quality of your relationships.
Try this: Take a 30-second presence check-in with a loved one: take a deep breath, put tech away, and ask a meaningful question.
Why it helps: You shift from social performance to genuine connection, which feels safer and more regulating for the nervous system.
7. A One-Minute Centring Practice Before Bed
Evenings can be when holiday stress catches up. A short, consistent grounding ritual helps you unwind and signal safety to your body.
Try this: Place a hand on your heart centre or stomach and take three slow breaths. Name one thing you’re grateful for or one emotion you’re sitting with. Take a moment to breathe into it, without trying to change it. Let it flow.
Why it helps: This reduces nighttime overstimulation and supports better sleep and emotional recovery.
Bringing Presence Into the New Year
As December unfolds, there’s often a collective push to set goals or reinvent ourselves. Presence invites something different. Something steadier and more compassionate.
Instead of big resolutions, you might choose one small practice from the list above to continue: a daily check-in, a pause before saying yes, or a grounding moment before bed. Small, consistent acts of awareness tend to create the most meaningful, sustainable shifts.
Presence also brings clarity. It helps you notice what nourishes you, what drains you, and what you may need more support with. You don’t need to enter the new year fully grounded. Small steps toward self-connection are more than enough.
A Gentle Invitation
If this season has felt heavier, more complicated, or just more exhausting than you expected, you’re not alone. Many people move through the holidays carrying a mix of emotions that never quite make it into the picture-perfect version of this time of year.
Therapy can be a space to slow down, reconnect with yourself, and work through the stressors or patterns that make presence feel difficult. If you’re curious about exploring this, or if you’d like support as you move into the new year, I’m here to help.
Feel free to reach out to schedule a consultation or ask any questions. You deserve support, and you don’t have to navigate it all on your own.
With warmth,
Alessia Manzoli
Registered Psychotherapist